I had hoped to book our tickets to Saipan this week. In fact, I woke up in the wee hours of Monday morning feeling very stressed because this hadn’t already been done. We’re not actually going until sometime in mid June but I like to take care of things like this well in advance. This time, however, our travel plans depend on other people. We thought we had pretty much nailed down the dates that we’d be needed with the missionaries that we’ll be covering for but then news came of a possible youth retreat that they’d like us to be involved in. Not a problem! In fact, that sounds pretty exciting to us but now we have to wait on someone else’s plans as this would involve another person coming from off island to do the retreat.
So what was I doing Monday morning? Fretting. Stressing. Worrying. Wondering if I should simply pick some dates and go ahead and book our tickets.
Then God spoke! No, I didn’t hear a booming voice from heaven but I definitely heard him loud and clear. He could have said, “Be patient you silly, foolish child and let me take care of things or you’ll mess them up for sure!” but he’s kinder than that and perhaps a little more subtle.
I sat down to review the previous week’s homework in preparation for that evening’s Beth Moore Bible study and Isaiah 50:10b-11 jumped out at me:
“Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God. But now, all you who light fires and provide yourselves with flaming torches, go, walk in the light of your fires and of the torches you have set ablaze. This is what you shall receive from my hand: You will lie down in torment.”
It’s amazing how that happens; how God seems to know exactly what we need to hear and when we need to hear it! It’s so easy for me to want to take things into my own hands, to light my own torch and try to find the path on my own but God was reminding me to trust in him and to wait on his leading. So now there’s a highlighted note to self in the margin of my Bible study workbook:
Don’t light my own torch!
Instead, I’ll wait (patiently, I hope!) until we’re given a better idea when we need to be on Saipan and then I’ll book our tickets accordingly.